Work today was..

Actually REALLY good. I went in early in the day so I may have got the tail end of action from my benzo. Either way I built some confidence today and that's a good thing. I have been really anxious today about taking the Klonopin. I think I may not take it tonight and see how I sleep and what happens tomorrow. Maybe my increase in dosage of Prozac will be enough..or maybe I can take the Klonopin PRN...I'm not sure yet.

Things I did today that surprised me:

1. Came right in and worked the drive through...and I was only a little nervous. It went fine.
2. Answered the phones a couple of times including once when the patient was upset about something...again it went fine.
3. Took a copy over the phone..something I had never done and involved the phone...and I did fine.
4. I had to call a patient at her house...and did fine.
5. I had to call a doctor office concerning a medication..and I did fine.

So...is it because of the klonopin or the increase of prozac or just because I'm getting better at the job? I have no idea...but I so don't want to be addicted to a benzo....I'm so uncertain.

Klonopin day 1 and 2

Sunday 6/12/11 was my first day on Klonopin. Well sorta, I took 0.5mg the night before(Saturday). At the advice of my doctor I will be starting with 1 tablet per day and then increase to 2 tablets per day. My sleep was amazing. I fell right asleep and did not have a hangover affect the next day. No racing thoughts or waking up the middle of the night with dialogue from work going on through my head. I do generally sleep better on the weekends though, since I tend to worry less. The next morning church went well, I generally worry about walking in and everyone looking at me. Not so bad this morning, and I even suggested me and W go to the young adults Sunday school class after church. This is big for me because for the past few weeks I haven't been wanting to go, ever since my SA relapsed. We are new at this church which makes it WAY worse since people are constantly coming up to us during the class and introducing themselves (you know being totally normal and nice!) but it just makes me a nervous wreck. Well I can honestly say I was as carefree during Sunday school as I've ever been. My research tells me that the duration of action of Klonopin is about 12 hours, and I could definitely tell it wasn't working as well late Sunday afternoon and evening. I was getting anxious about work the next morning. I haven't noticed a difference since increasing my prozac dose yet. (20 to 40mg)

Monday 6/13/11-I again had great sleep last night. Work went well today, but I don't know how much I can attribute to the Klonopin. The people that I really like and feel comfortable working with were there when I got there, and I didn't have to do anything new or scary and spent most of the day doing modules on the computer, so not much interaction with patients or customers. I haven't decided if I want to increase my Klonopin to twice per day. If I can just take one at night to help with sleep, and that can maybe help get me through the morning at work, since once I get to work and sort of get into a routine, my anxiety goes down a bit. I haven't decided..I have no idea how tired it would make me if I took it during the day, but so far I haven't had any side effects of either the Klonopin or the dosage increase of the Prozac. If anything my mood has been better. On a negative note, I was supposed to call to schedule my therapy session today and I totally forgot!! I will have to make sure I do it tomorrow....oh how I hate calling to make appointments.